FourteenTen♥

I didnt said it was your fault ♥ I.L.Y; Dumb-ass
I only said i was going to blame you for it.

I'm sick nd tired of everyth . ♥

Hello everyone . (:

Hey people . Its been a long time since i MIA . Hehe , i didn't even tell you guys that i MIA-ed . Haha , crazyshit . Kay shuddup . Let me start my post . (:

So first . Let me tell you guys something about my love . (:

My love . I miss him . I swear i do . I miss how we met , how we got close , how we get together , how we spent our time together , how we miss each other , how we loved each other , nd everything . I miss everything about us . Its been 11 days since we're separated . Nd what more , tomorrow is our 9th Month Anniversary . I'm sad , who wouldn't ? Its like . Someone who you love , veryvery much , let go of you , just a few weeks before your monthsarry ? Haish :( . I know , its just puppylove . I don't understand why is it so hard for me to let go of him , nd i'm still hoping to have him back . I really don't understand why this feeling is so strong . I love him veryvery much , i really do . I just , don't want to lose him . I'm afraid , other girl would take my spot . I'm afraid that he would like other girl , nd forget about me . I'm really afraid that other girl will walk in his life , nd never walk out . I'm afraid that other girl will take his heart , steal his heart from me . I'm just afraid . Now , i'm very insecure . I'm jealous of whoever [ girls ] who talked to him . I just don't know why . I was smiling , but dying in th inside . I can't bare being ignored by him every single day . What more , tomorrow supposed to be our special day . For th second time , we didn't get to be together on our Monthsarry . Saddening much please :'( . Haish :( . I seriously hope we could get back together someday . I just want you back . I don't want others to have you , just me . I really want you back . I need you because i love you . I reallyreally need you . Please come back to me , im lost :'(

Dear Mr. M♥ , I would like to thank you for everything you did for me . Since th day we met , th day we get together , till th day you ended things this way . Thankyou for everything you gave me . Your care , your love , th treats , th stuffs , nd everything . Thanks alot for everything . You've been a great boyf for me . You're th best i ever had . I know , no one out there is like you . Its hard to find someone like you . Someone who could really understand my feelings . Who's always been there for me whenever i needed someone to be by my side . Who's always there to comfort me whenever i'm down . Who's always there to entertain me whenever i'm bored nd lonely . Who's always been loving me more than anyone does . Who's always worried whenever something happened to me . Who cares about me th most . Who always tells me to think positively instead of thinking negative . Who always helped me whenever i needed help . Who doesn't fail to draw a smile on my face . Who doesn't fail to make me laugh . Who always tried his best to meet me , just to see my face . Who gets excited whenever we're meeting up . Who could complete me , my life . Who is my everything . Mr.M♥ , you're my hero , nd I'm your sidekick . No one could ever replace you , my hero . NO ONE . Not even ONE . You're th only one in my heart , i swear . You're th only one i love , th only one i think about everyday . You're th only one in my mind , nd my heart . You are mine , nd I'm yours . I love you no matter what happens . I'll wait for you , i swear . I will , i swear . I'll wait for you to come back to me . Please , Mr . Come back to me . I'm really lost without you . My life is incomplete without you . Because , you're part of my life . Nd i was once part of your life too . Mr , I miss you veryvery much . I need you in my life please . Please Mr , i love you veryvery much . Please come back to me ♥ :'(

Alright , fuck my life please . Tears run down my cheeks when i typed all this . I guess i miss him veryvery much . Haish ! :'( . Alright , next topic .

Okay . Now , about my family nd siblings .

Dear Parents♥ , I'm sorry for being a useless daughter . I'm sorry if i always create th mess at home . I'm sorry for not listening to you guys . I'm sorry for being rude to you guys , most of th time . I'm sorry for spending lots of money . I'm sorry for every mistake i made . I'm reallyreally sorry for not being a good daughter :( . I'm sorry i've never made you guys proud . I'm veryvery sorry :'( . Mummy , daddy . I love you both veryvery much ♥ . I love you guys more than i love anyone else . You guys are th best . I love you mummy nd daddy ♥ :')

Dear Mummy♥ , although i'm always lazy to do what you asked me to do .. I feel disappointed , whenever i see you do stuffs on your own . I'm sorry for not helping you whenever you needed help . I'm very sorry , mummy :( . Mummy , although i'm always rude to you . Deep down in my heart , i felt so hurt to see you frown . I know you're hurt when i shouted at you or being rude to you . I'm very sorry for hurting you , mummy :( . I'm sorry for talking back when you're mad at me . I'm sorry for being angry at you . I'm sorry for making you worried . I'm sorry for not talking to you whenever you're lonely . I'm sorry for letting you feel so lonely at home . I'm sorry for always asking you for money nd spending a big amount of it . I'm veryvery sorry for not thinking of your efforts , to get those money . I'm sorry for only thinking about myself nd my wants . I'm veryvery sorry mummy :( . I'm sorry , i'm never a good daughter . I'm not a good daughter for you mummy , i'm sorry :'( . Mummy , i love you veryveryvery much ♥ . You are my life , i love you ♥

Dear Daddy♥ , I'm sorry for hating you at times . You shouted at us , you scolded us for no reasons , you didn't talk to us , nd whatsoever . Those are th times when i hate you th most . But trust me daddy , although i hate you , deep down , i still love you . You're my father , nd i have no reason to hate you . I love you no matter what happens . I love you more than i love anyone else . Daddy , i'm sorry if i always talk back . I'm sorry if i've never made you proud . I'm sorry if i used too much of your money . I'm sorry if i don't listen to you . I'm sorry for being angry at you . I'm sorry for asking you to shuddup , at times . I'm rude , i know . I'm veryvery sorry , daddy ♥ :'( . I'm sorry for not being a good daughter :'( . Daddy , i love you very much ♥

Dear Siblings♥ , I'm sorry if I always blame you guys for some stuffs . I know , at times , i'm always th one who would have to wash th plates , clean th house , buy food , buy snacks nd stuffs . You guys always treat me like that , that's why i always get frustrated with you guys . I know you guys are tired , but you guys have to do some stuffs too uh . Help mum uh . Pity mum , she would have to cook , clean th house , wash th plates , wash th clothes . Please , don't think about yourself . Think about mum too . Haish . I'm sorry if i'm not being a good sister for you guys . I'm sorry if at times i'm rude to you guys . I'm sorry if I treat you guys unfairly . I'm sorry for thinking about myself only . I'm sorry if i don't share my snacks with you guys . I'm veryvery sorry :'( . No matter what , you guys are th best . You guys treated me food , gave me money , gave me stuffs , gave me softtoys nd many more . You guys brought me to places I've never been to . You guys bring me out , nd went to places which i wanted to go . Thanks alot for everything , brother & sister . Thanks alot . Although we fight most of th times , although i hate you guys at times , i know , deep down , i love you guys alot . I can't imagine my life without a sister or a brother . I would be very lonely . Haish , i'm reallyreally sorry , brother&sister . I love you both veryvery much ♥ .

Alright , i'm done with th post . Long post huh ? I cried all th way typing all these . I just , feel so guilty nd bad . I want to be a good girl please . Haish . I've changed , alot :'( . Alright , im done . Byebye people ! ♥

Sometimes i wish i could go back to th past to fix my mistakes .

Picture above , new pict .
Picture below , old pict .
I've , changed :'(

See how happy i was back then . Haish :'(

See how happy i was back then ? Hell yea . I wasn't in dilemma nd stuffs . I wasnt an emo girl , back then . I was a veryvery happy girl . Who enjoys her life , nd all she thinks about is , having fun . A girl who loves her friends more than anything else . A girl who always prioritize her friends first . A girl who doesn't really know what love means . A girl who doesn't get hurts often . A girl who doesn't often hurt people . A girl who doesnt know much , but enjoying life . A girl who knows nothing but , life is too short to be filled with sadness . Yes , i miss that girl :'(

So yesterday . We broke up :'( . The saddest day of my life . I cried , i did . I cried because , its my fault . Its my mistake . I repeated my mistake over nd over again . Now , when can i learn from my mistake ?! I hurt him , over th same mistake i made again . What th hell is wrong with me ?! Haish . Stupid me . I shouldn't have talked to other guys . I should have told him th truth that i needed him to entertain me , nd loved me like he used to . I should have told him that i was so lonely without him . I should have told him everything . But th reason why i didn't make my move is because , he wouldn't care at all . She would just say , " So ? " . Its like , i'm your girlf , nd you don't want to do anything about it ? Don't you miss how we close we used to be ? Because i do . All those childish stuffs we did . You know , we're the most childish couple , among all my friends . Nd i like it . Because at least , we didn't do something that is wrong . We just , do what kids always do . The only thing is that , we love each other . Haa , kids also love each other what . Bluek , kay whatever . So , yea . Haish . I miss th old us please :'( . I know , i won't get you back . I know , i have to let go of you right now . I'm sorry for everything i did . I know , i left scars in your heart . I'm veryvery sorry for not being a good girlf :'( .

So now . I shall stay single . This time round , i won't go around layan-ing guys anymore . I told my cousin about it . Nd she knows how i feel . She's been there throughout everything . Thanks alot , cuzzy . Although you're two years younger than me , you've helped me alot in love stuffs . Thanks alot yea . Thanks alot for being there when i needed you . I love you beb ! :') . So , cuzzy will be my witness . I told her i promise to stay single until i get him back . Even if i wont get him back , i will still stay single . I won't love anyone else , but him . I won't forget my memories with him . It will always be kept in my heart . I won't forget him , i swear . He's like my bestf . I love him no matter what happens . My cousin witnessed this . If i ever break my promise , she's gonna punish me . I'm serious . Haish :'(

I've deactivated my facebook account . I'm sorry friends :'( . I couldn't help it anymore . I'm veryvery sorry :'( . Haish . So , 2011 is coming . I want it to be a better year for all of us . Yes , i really do . I want to change . This time round , i’m making it real . I’m gonna stop myself from emo-ing nd thinking about love , craps nd all those shits . I’m fcuking moving on with my life . Gonna occupy myself with important things to be done . Gonna occupy myself with something worth , nd something that could make me happy . I’m gonna go out with my friends often . To keep my mind occupied with just , happiness thoughts :) . All i think about now is , happiness , having fun nd enjoying life . Hell yea ! I just have to move on . Love isn’t my whole life . Well , its just , PART of my life . I still have better things to do , rather than only loving someone nd making it like as if its my whole life . Getting sad over it ? No point . Nd what more , i’m just 13 . I have better things to do in life , especially studies . So right now , i shall prioritize my family , friends nd studies first . Love ? Wait until i’m 15 okay ? Mark my words please . Be my witness :) . Nd so now , i really want 2011 to be a better year for me . Th new year , new life , new me . I want to be a good girl by next year . A girl who every loves . A girl who everyone could accept her just th way she is , nd accept her for who she is . Yes , that kind of girl . If anyone ever hates her , she’s not gonna care much . She will just show th , I DONT GIVE A DAMN face :b . haha , that is so gonna be me ! Bluek :b . So next year , i will totally change . My friends will be th ones who will observe me . So , yea . You guys who are reading this , are my witnesses . Yes (:

Alright , got to go ! Byebye :D

Yours truly,

Nur Amalina Bte Abdul Razak♥;
Muhd Azli Bin Rahim♥
FourteenTen♥
Turning seventeen♥
You're the one i need, you're the one i want, you're the one i love. You're my only one, love♥

Honeybunch Sugarplum♥

MuhdAzliRahim♥♥♥
NurSabrinaMohd♥♥
FatimahZahra♥
NurSyahirahSamsuddin♥
NurAzilaAzman♥
1/3'10 & 3/4'12♥

I love them so much!♥

Let the beat drop .

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